In light of the recent thread about the rumored demise of Soulja Boy, some controversy has been stirred up. Most of the time, I do not think of the death of another individual as funny, however, there are times when a certain amount of entertainment can be derived from the idiotic ways that some individuals kill themselves. That said, I bring you a thread about the Darwin Awards.

Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the Darwin Awards honor those who improve our gene pool the most by removing themselves from it.

Here is one of my favorite examples. Unfortunately, this one was believed true for some years, but was later proved false. It's still a good read.

Jet Assisted Take-Off
1995 Darwin Awards Winner
Confirmed Bogus by Darwin
URBAN LEGEND! The Arizona Highway Patrol were mystified when they came upon a pile of smoldering wreckage embedded in the side of a cliff rising above the road at the apex of a curve. The metal debris resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it turned out to be the vaporized remains of an automobile. The make of the vehicle was unidentifiable at the scene.

The folks in the lab finally figured out what it was, and pieced together the events that led up to its demise.

It seems that a former Air Force sergeant had somehow got hold of a JATO (Jet Assisted Take-Off) unit. JATO units are solid fuel rockets used to give heavy military transport airplanes an extra push for take-off from short airfields.

Dried desert lakebeds are the location of choice for breaking the world ground vehicle speed record. The sergeant took the JATO unit into the Arizona desert and found a long, straight stretch of road. He attached the JATO unit to his car, jumped in, accelerated to a high speed, and fired off the rocket.

The facts, as best as could be determined, are as follows:

The operator was driving a 1967 Chevy Impala. He ignited the JATO unit approximately 3.9 miles from the crash site. This was established by the location of a prominently scorched and melted strip of asphalt. The vehicle quickly reached a speed of between 250 and 300 mph and continued at that speed, under full power, for an additional 20-25 seconds. The soon-to-be pilot experienced G-forces usually reserved for dog-fighting F-14 jocks under full afterburners.

The Chevy remained on the straight highway for approximately 2.6 miles (15-20 seconds) before the driver applied the brakes, completely melting them, blowing the tires, and leaving thick rubber marks on the road surface. The vehicle then became airborne for an additional 1.3 miles, impacted the cliff face at a height of 125 feet, and left a blackened crater 3 feet deep in the rock.

Most of the driver's remains were not recovered; however, small fragments of bone, teeth, and hair were extracted from the crater, and fingernail and bone shards were removed from a piece of debris believed to be a portion of the steering wheel.

Ironically a still-legible bumper sticker was found, reading
"How do you like my driving? Dial 1-800-EAT-S***."


www.DarwinAwards.com © 1994 - 2007
Submitted by: Paul Kamrath

You can find more of them at www.darwinawards.com

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~~Keep it Reel~~

I have heard of the Darwin Awards before, but never knew what they were before today. When I die, I would love to die like that. Sounds fun, except for the dying part.

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Beware. Midna killed me. Now, all that is left is my ghost.

"he's doing me first, hylian!!!" -Kate

"By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience,
which is the bitterest."
~Confucius

Ok, the last one I showed you was actually, while artfully written, made up. This Darwin Award nominee is real. She sounds like a winner to me.



Chemistry Went Over Her Head
2008 Darwin Award Nominee
Confirmed True by Darwin


(2 February 2008, Bulgaria) It was a cold but sunny February afternoon. Lidia, a biology teacher from Sofia, was driving home from a memorial service, accompanied by her husband and a friend. Suddenly, the vehicle stopped. Bystanders saw all three occupants dash from the car to a nearby manhole, and start pouring down liquids and powders from various bottles and jars.
Apparently, Lidia had been doing chemistry experiments in her free time, and had some noxious chemicals left over. It is still not entirely clear what the chemicals were, but two of the bottles had labels: diethyl ether and methanol, both highly flammable substances. The former is also used as a sedative, so one explanation for their actions is that they felt dizzy from the ether vapors, and thought it was a good idea to pour them in the sewer.

As it turns out, a good idea it definitely was not. The cocktail of flammable substances in the enclosed space of the sewer caused an explosion so powerful that it launched the manhole cover into the air, decapitating the (briefly) surprised Lidia. Left without a head on her shoulders, she decided it was time to kick the bucket.

The other two people were not left unharmed, but were alive. They were taken to the hospital with burns on their faces. After several hours in the operating room, it appeared unlikely that they will regain their eyesight, but hopefully are able to speak well enough to tell their children that tossing random chemicals down the drain is not as wise as it might at first appear.

ORIGINAL SUBMISSION

DarwinAwards.com © 1994 - 2008
Guest Writer: Georgi Stoychev.
Reference: http://www.focus-news.net/?id=s1777

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~~Keep it Reel~~

It's about how you die, right? Not who you are, or am I mistaken?

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I'm good at N, and N+.

Like what I just wrote? Add to my Reputation!

N: Inadvertently Homicidal Robots, Evasive Ninjas and A Whole Whack of Style

Yes, it's basically about how you (accidentally) kill yourself. And since the person kills themselves in such a manner that they should have been wearing a sign, (ex. Hi, I'm stupid.), then they improve the gene pool by removing themselves from it. It works best, of course, if they haven't already had children, though.

And of course, the more spectacularly you do it, the better the story.

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~~Keep it Reel~~

very cool! I really think a couple people should go and die and recieve this award.

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I was thinking that you had to die doing something stupid and unnecessarily risky. You can have a really intelligent and productive member of society have an accident, which I don't feel betters the gene pool. It's a matter of the adaptive, smarter, stronger, etc. surviving while the...less advantanged remove themselves. I could be mistake, though.

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I guess whether it betters the gene pool or not is really a matter of opinion. I think that when that happens, it proves that you can be really intelligent and really stupid at the same time. (You could also replace the word stupid with careless.)

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~~Keep it Reel~~